My apologies to you that I've waited six months to write you five year letter. It seems that as we add to our family of blessing, time runs a bit shorter these days. I have the time today because I'm taking a vary rare day off of church and trying to get better from a lingering sickness that struck earlier this week. I'm trying not to feel guilty with three hours of uninterrupted time on my hands to rest and heal. If you were home with me now, I know you would be the first to make sure I was okay, getting me blankets and glasses of water and asking if there's anything else I need. You are indeed my little helper and such a sweet one at that. You have such a caring and kind nature, that whenever you see me hurting or in any pain, you're the first to come over and make sure I'm okay and give me a sympathetic hug or kiss what's hurting.
It's hard to believe you've grown up so much. I look at you and I still see my little baby, but at the same time I can't deny this sweet young girl you're becoming. Even when I look at this picture of you in the snow that was taken six months ago, I already see so many changes now. I just know that I want to enjoy every moment I have with you and never take a single one for granted.
The thing about you I am most grateful for is your sensitivity to the Lord's calling on your heart and your desire to tell everyone you can of the great love of Jesus. I remember listening at your door when you and Cy were "going to sleep" one night, and hearing you share the gospel message with him. You were telling him how Jesus is God and how he made everything, how he made Cy, and how much he loves him. You were telling him of how Jesus can take away sins and how he wants to live with him forever. Sometimes when I share these truths with you, I'm never quite sure if you're completely understanding it, but then when I hear you repeat them in your own way with your own heart, I realize you've been listening all along. And not just listening, but really understanding and wanting that truth for yourself.
You and Cy can be real goofballs together and it's fun to watch you two grow closer. As you become better friends, you also have your share of frustrations with one another. But, somehow you always manage to work it out and miss one another terribly when the other is gone for even part of the day. You and Cy both think of one another when at school and always try to make a project or color a coloring sheet for the other person. If I go to the store just with you, you always want to make sure we bring something back for Cy and Matthew. It's been hard for you to relate with Matthew, as he is still fairly young, but I do see you trying harder to find ways to play with him and be close to him. He loves you dearly and will cling on for a super hug whenever he can.
You will be in kindergarten next year and you are so excited to start school for the full day. You love to learn and often will pull out your kindergarten workbook and want to work on your writing and math skills. You have mastered your first name in upper and lower case letters and are now learning how to write your full name, your phone number, and address. You can count to one hundred with very little assistance, can recognize almost all the alphabet letters, and are learning to recognize more of your numbers past the teens. It's fun watching your brain work and want to know and take in more information. You love coloring, especially horses, and pay great attention to details. I am daily impressed with how well you're advancing in your artistic skills. You love reading and will often want to take a book into bed with you at night to read until you fall asleep. Even though you can't make out the words yet, you enjoy the pictures and trying to figure out the words and story line.
You found out in December that you'll soon have another little brother or sister this coming August. With Cy you were still a bit young, and even with Matthew, not as interested with the pregnancy, but with this baby you are very curious. You love watching my belly grow and keep asking how much bigger it's going to get. You will put your hands on my belly and patiently wait for a kick, and I get a thrill out of watching your eyes light up when the baby inside answers your request. You desperately want a little sister, but have become content with the fact that God knows what's best for our family - boy or girl - and that our job is to be thankful for the blessing of either. But, you're really hoping for that girl just the same! I love it that we all get to wait for the surprise together come August.
As a mom, one day maybe you'll come to know too, we always wonder if we're doing enough. Are we loving enough, leading well enough, teaching enough, being patient enough, helping enough, and giving enough. I wonder that with you daily and I daily have to trust the Lord that in every moment he is answering my many years of prayers to be a mother and to do the job in a way that honors Him. I pray that you will always know how deeply you are loved, by your Heavenly Father first and foremost, and then by me and your father. I pray that all we do every day will help lead you closer to Him and that your heart would swell with love with Him in return. More than anything else - more than any educational advancement, worldly prosperity, notoriety, or fame, I pray you would love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, and with all your strength, and that you would do great things for His Kingdom. I love you, my little sweet pea. With all that I have. I love you.