Sunday, August 16, 2015

Matthew Turns TWO! (July 21)

Dear Matthew,
You turned two last month. TWO! Even with your little sister on the way, I would look at you and still see my little baby, whose thighs I loved to squeeze, and asleep in your crib with your footie pajamas. Last week when we brought Skylar home, you were no longer my baby. Some how in one day's time your hands got huge and your thighs lost all their chub. You became a big boy over night and my little baby was nowhere to be found. I feel like being your mom puts me in a constant place of mourning the loss of last stage and looking excitedly toward the one that lies right ahead. There's no denying it, you are becoming a big boy. You run without tripping, you communicate your needs (more on that later), you share your toys and play with others, you make funny jokes - the most recent of which is when you proudly brought in your little lego man whose little lego head was replaced with a lego toilet bowl. Lego toilet man. You were laughing so hard and your creation and I was cracking up along with you, proud of your creativity. That's what you boys have made me into, a mom who is proud of her boys lewd humor because however lewd it was, it sure was creative.


You are my little goof ball of the bunch. You love to play games and make jokes, anything to make someone laugh or get to laughing yourself. You will play hide and seek for hours, always telling me exactly where you want me to hide. Haven't quite caught on the the suspense part of the game, but it's how you enjoy playing, so I indulge you. You will rise the the occasion to play at any moment, and we can often turn you out of a sour mood just by making a face or chasing you down the hall. Although, when it comes time to stop, you do become a bit put out. You've taken to expressing yourself very clearly with your actions. You will stomp your one foot rather hard and give a look of sheer stubborn determination. But, when you get the call to time out, you usually go rather willingly. When it comes time to apologize, you will come right over and give your "sorry hug" and then proceed to do what we asked of you.


Speaking of communication, you are definitely the latest of your siblings to talk. I'm not sure if it's because you had fluid in your ears for so long the first year of your life, or if it's just your particular developmental process, but you only have about five words you say - Mama, Dada, hot, hat, ice, and dirty (pointing to your diaper when it needs to be changed). We're going to have an assessment done this next week to make sure there's nothing else hindering your speech, but in the meantime, you still get your point across quite well. Sometimes I think you communicate better than your siblings just through the few words you use, your grunts, points, and facial expressions. I do wish I could hear your voice though and look forward to when it starts to present itself. I know it holds a great deal of your personality, just bursting to come forward.


It has been fun to watch you starting to play more and more with Cy and Charlotte. You're learning to share your toys and that every tower they build or fort they create is not made especially for you to knock over. All three of you are sleeping in the same room now and I can tell you like the company. Maybe a little too much from the sounds of shrieks and laughter that come from your room at a little past six in the morning. But I will definitely take that over yelling and crying any day. You always want to be a part of their play and as you get older I can tell you're learning more about how to play with them rather than at them. It's fun to watch you three together.


Probably the quickest to give hugs and say your sorry for any wrongdoing, I could tell from the beginning you've had a real sensitive side. If ever I'm sad or having a hard day, you will notice and come to my side with a hug or a snuggle. It's even amazing to me that from the day we brought home Skylar, you have not wanted to leave her side. At even such a young age, she is not a stranger to you, but it's like you know without a doubt she is your sister and it is your duty to protect her. I can't wait to see how you two grow together. I pray you two will be close and that this bond I see forming will grow even closer.


When we had you, I thought you would be our last. I didn't know our little surprise would come along two years later. Because of this, I did my best to soak in every moment with you. Every late night feeding, every song before bedtime, every moment your head rested contently on my shoulder, every laugh, every new step, every joke you would make, every sweet blankie and thumb-sucking snuggle. I am so glad I thought you were my last because not only did you teach me to soak in every moment with you, but also reminded me to do the same with Charlotte and Cy. It has been a wonderful last two years with the three of you and I look forward with joyful anticipation at what comes for the four of you in the many years ahead. 


You are such a joy and delight in our lives. Your laughter is contagious and your sweet smile lights up the room. You have such a huge personality and I love how it just washes over everyone around you. And I love your hair!! I can't do anything to tame that mane, but I just LOVE it! You are my sweet little guy, and I have so many prayers for you in the years that still lie ahead. I pray with all my heart that your sensitive sweet side would be pulled into the arms of Jesus at a very young age. I pray that big personality inside of you would just burst out with a love for your Savior and that love would spread onto everyone you touch. I pray you would be a great friend to your brother and sisters and that friendship would grow stronger every year. I pray all four of you would encourage one another in the Lord and be there for each other through the joys and sorrows, pointing one another more toward Christ through every difficult circumstance you face. I pray you would learn to sit in one another's pain with each other, sharing His love just in your presence with them. No words needed. I pray you would be a good friend to others and always find the one who is left out, ignored, or pushed aside, and offer a word of encouragement or kindness to them. I pray when people see you and get to know you, they would see the love of Christ so deeply inside of you with such compassion and love for others, that they would be drawn to Him with an undeniable pull. I pray you would see in the hard times how He is molding and shaping you more and more to His image and what a wonderful and perfect thing that is. I love you so deeply that at times it hurts, and those are the moments when I need to remember ultimately you are His, only given to me for a time to teach you how deep and how wide and how high is the love of Christ. He has entrusted you to me, and I pray with all my heart that I make good on that trust. I love you, Mister. My sweet sweet boy. 

Mama

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